Million Deaths

I see birth of my million deaths, I shall die million times, before I really die. The pain that I shall no more see this beautiful earth, the limits of my sights, I know as skies, and hot dance of nature, between the earth and the skies, the stars and the Milky Way, the sun and the moon, the clouds that rise from earth and rain back on earth, the greenery and its colorful kids, the sweet soft flowers, with colors and aroma. I shall not taste the delicious fruits and shall not drink water from naughty rivers, from charming streams, and I shall not see the beautiful birds, joining their nibs on a tall tree, behind green leaves and pink flowers. How many deaths I shall face, To think of losing my sight, I could never count. I shall not listen to the music of winds, and lovely sound of sexy downpours, the bells that ring and the human voice that calls to bow the head before someone who created and forgot me. I shall not smell the fragrance of rose Jasmine and queen of night, and appetizing smell of spicy dishes coming from my kitchen. I shall not kiss her soft lips, That still appear to me pink petals of a rose. I shall not kiss foreheads of my children and grandchildren before they sleep or they depart. How many deaths I shall face, to think of losing my senses, I could never count. I don't know if I shall cease to think, but to think, that I shall no more think after my death is a soothing relief. Man can live with rest and peace, having lost all his senses, but if he thinks after his death, the pain of loosing loved ones, will not be tolerable for him. I think if I shall cease to think, God was happy with me when I really expired, and if I think even after my death, I shall take it as God was unhappy with me when I really expired, leaving me alone busy in counting my million deaths!