Philosopher Bimm

Republicans think Jonas Bimm A Democrat gone mad, And Democrats consider him Republican and bad. The Tough reviles him as a Dude And gives it him right hot; The Dude condemns his crassitude And calls him _sans culottes. Derided as an Anglophile By Anglophobes, forsooth, As Anglophobe he feels, the while, The Anglophilic tooth. The Churchman calls him Atheist; The Atheists, rough-shod, Have ridden o'er him long and hissed 'The wretch believes in God!' The Saints whom clergymen we call Would kill him if they could; The Sinners (scientists and all) Complain that he is good. All men deplore the difference Between themselves and him, And all devise expedients For paining Jonas Bimm. I too, with wild demoniac glee, Would put out both his eyes; For Mr. Bimm appears to me Insufferably wise!