Living A Borrowed Alien Dream

If only I lived up to my measure, And stopped living a borrowed alien dream, Yet, an alien word has been my pleasure That has put me in a plight all so grim. And as old habits get morphed to fads quirky, Whereas to start with I was plain curious, Not unto, I look vaguely around me, And ere long curious me gets devious, Looking over my neighbour's shoulder, Ere I knew it became a die-hard habit, Hesitant first, then a bit bolder, And soon I am no more even discreet. So often I now feel compelled to brood: Oh where hast gone my self-image? In alien eyes why must I appear good? Where can I find my life's lost page? Have I for good lost my inner sage? What others must be thinking about me? How to rise in esteem that my own be? Oh what a struggle to find lost image! But this went on till very self got lost, World's no fair, I begin to frown, And left I'm to counting the cost! Alien values, views tie me down. My own self mattering nigh little, My low self esteem no more subtle, A day dawns, me I no more seem, Man of vigour verve nor yet vim! _________________________________________ Reflections | 01.05.2017 |