What Is Christmas Without You?

What is Christmas without you, my love The snow is there, the stars too Winter has set in The night is very, very blue. Frosty, breezy, cold Need the warmth of your love, my love To thaw me down And feel cosy at home. I am like the icy stone Who waits and waits and waits On the deserted roads of lonely nights For you to find me and pick me up And cradle me in your arms Trace me down with your fingers And embrace me in your warmth, my love. What is Christmas without you? Have the phone on hand, My e-mail too Mobile is on. And the other evening When I saw your name on my PC When you added me to your list of ‘Friends’ I was in tears and smiles Accepting your invitation To join your YM And yet I know I cannot go further And write to you… For once it starts It starts all over Beyond boundaries Sans social barriers And then we end up Fighting over the right and the wrong Like sorting a needle in the haystack And then love flows out of the window Like the thin, invisible air… For we are left with Who is right and who is wrong You or me, we cannot decide. And yet my love, What is this Christmas without you? Without talking to you? I miss those fights too. Without hearing that deep resonance Of your manly voice Trying to reason with the Unreasonable woman in me. The way you used to check your temper By mincing out words In hushed tones - And the way I used to flare up With whorish slangs of my Slanderous tongue. Wish I could kiss you with that Very slanderous tongue of mine Wish I could make love to you… And you could feel the pleasures Of this very slanderous tongue of mine Wetting you all over… The highs and lows of a graphical sketch In the shivers and sweat of your Orgasmic ecstasy. I once told you, my love I comport like a whore Whenever I feel tempestuous and angry My limits know no bounds As I’ve always been the wild Outrageous woman When it comes to love and passion. And they say: Everything is Fair In love and war. So my love Is it fair on me? And is it fair On you? That you know I do love you Very, very much And I know that you Are missing me there Like ever before… And despite the phone, The e-mail, the YM And our blessed PCs We still don’t communicate Any more. This Christmas is hard on me, my love What is Christmas without you, my love? And I can feel a faint feeling That you do also feel the same And yet and yet and yet The mind has won over the heart And the heart Like a wife subjugated Listens and obeys the mind The always domineering husband – Yes, the man of the house. Be it love, passion or be it A life-long infatuation Whatever it is, my love I know and I can feel The feeling is just not right Of you and me being So deathly quiet And yet, you and me Missing each other Forever more... And I often wonder If this stillness, This pin-dropp quietness Is like a lull Before the storm. Yes - a storm of love, lust and passion That might sweep us away Into faraway shores of Amorous consummation. Heralding the onset of Commitment and Companionship For a lifetime of Belongingness and Bonding. For, what is Christmas without you, my love? Be it a love-hate relationship And yet it exists In subdued images Sheltered dreams Heart-felt feelings And mindless thoughts. And yet and yet and yet However much I miss you I cannot summon up The forbearance to go back to you And endure it all… The pain and the hurt Of being near you And being misunderstood Time and again Is all too much for me now. I am tired and weary Like the broken soul In a crumbling body. So let this Christmas be mine alone I am learning to live With all the pain and the hurt Of the past and the present May be, a lot more in the future As the days go by… I know it gets harder for me. But it is better to feel hurt and pained alone Rather than going back to you And sharing this load of agony with you Why keep bothering you? And causing more hurt and grief to you? Let this pain be mine alone And this Christmas too. God Willing - Some day in time Some life on earth If I am ever re-born I would love to celebrate Christmas, everyday of my life With you and you and you alone. To make up for all what I have lost In my love and passion for you - And the many years of Christmas That have passed in this life Without you. For, what is Christmas without you, my love What is Christmas without you?