Bri's Suicide Attempts In Hell.......[ Fantasy; Hell; Foiled Again! ! ! ; Suicide; Personal ]

At times in my Earthly life I've contemplated MY suicide, ....but never have I attempted it, NOR "threatened (to do)it". That aside...., today as I rested myself in a soothing upholstered chair ["legs-up"], I wondered what would happen if [At Death] I went "Down", not "Up". My Fantasy: I arrived at noon, Hell Time, just in time for Thursday's midday meal. It WAS kind of hot there, but I found no thermostat and did not appeal... to any of the tuxedoed, Screaming-scarlet, horned waiters near at hand, .... to decrease the heat at least for my first Hell-meal (which was quite bland) . I'd hoped for pizza, served with wine, and at first was NOT disappointed, until, upon closer examination I discerned the toppings were disjointed.... half-raw parts of animals, with un-singed hairs, and some with tearful eyes, blue, black, brown, green, looking up at me, much to my newcomer's surprise! ! OK, I had expected Hell to be interesting AND not completely to my liking. But I'd always told myself: "Bri, it's bound to have wanton women, hiking... their skirts high to welcome me unto the Realms of Darkness".I was wrong. From creepy pizza things for me "went Downhill" fast! ![ I tried to be strong ] But it got so bad that I soon became despondent, depressed; know what I mean? On Earth my end was an 'accident' on a major highway; no roads here were seen, so I could not have an "accident" like that in Hell.But in a Hell-week I'd 'had it"; I decided that I just HAD TO end my life in Hell.I'd not stay to see how bad it..... ....could get. At my next "Hell physical fitness" session I thought I'd found my chance: KNIVES. We used knives, other weapons, and torture equipment, reminiscent of many lives... lived by the Souls surrounding me in my new home.I slipped one inside my tunic, careful NOT to amputate any appendage.I wished not to be a Hell-bound eunuch. Back in my cubicle, with my two mangy mates, I stabbed and slashed with all my might, but, alas, as my boiling blood poured forth and parts dropped off all through the night, I found [ to my utter frustration ] that I remained still "alive", if I could be called such. I felt 'different', but certainly not much different.I felt no cooler, either, to my touch. And so it went.I tried drowning in the river Styx.I tried six times, ....all to no avail. I tried all means available which I thought might 'save me'.All of my attempts did fail. And so here I am, rotting, so to speak, in Hell for lack of religion and/or "good works". It's HOT, smelly, monotonous, the pizza's creepy, and there are no "special privileges"/'perks'. (June....25th....2019)