Found Wanting

There lived a wondrous sculptor once, a genius in his way, Named Phidias Praxiteles Canova Merryday. He sat within his studio and said, 'I really must Begin a Rhodian anaglyptic ceroplastic bust. 'My customers demand them, their fame rings near and far, But then, alas, the trouble is, I don't know what they are. Though I could carve a Venus or a Belvedere with ease, My wondrous skill is lacking when it comes to carving these. 'I cast and cut and chisel, I model and I mould, I copy poses picturesque from studies new and old; In marble, bronze, and potter's clay, in wax and wood and stone I carve the old-time statues with improvements of my own. 'I have Apollo on a horse, Minerva on a wheel, Hercules going fishing with his basket and his creel. A Mercury on roller-skates, Diana with a hat, And Venus playing tennis with Achilles at the bat. 'Yet these my customers pass by, and ask with interest keen, For things with long and tiresome names,--I don't know what they mean. And so I let my hammers hang, and let my chisels rust, For I cannot do an anaglyptic ceroplastic bust.'