I Was Nearly Canonized Recently

My benevolence apparent my sins transparent I was was The One in line for the highest utmost ordination divine Yes, many thought I was it Halo and all, I'm the shit Time for all to know my good time for my deserved sainthood Interviewed I was and put thru the ringer they wanted to know if I had a stinger Hidden 'issues' better now exposed So as to not later be quietly deposed I'm so holy and without blemish luck to them to find a fetish I talk to animals and heal the hurting I tow the line, never a bit skirting But alas came a question from the left, cold-cocked me good, left me bereft Do you ever eat more than you should? Could I lie (once) and still be good? I said 'Define 'should' and more ' Do you ever pig out, a real food whore? At that point, I knew I was sunk I was a ghastly closet Cheetos punk One last chance I did take, I asked how many ounces that would make? The Holy Supreme Board set me straight 'Canon dictates 6 ounces to make' GLUTTONY! Glutton I was named, those damn Cheetos were to blame All those bags down in the dumpster deep Someone crawled in, a competitor creep! So I am here sullen today, not a thing to really say I ate those Cheetos, I pounded them good they cost my holiness, my anointed sainthood!