It's No Joke To One Bloke

Dear Comrade: In the game of politics A Senator gits quite enough of kicks Without 'is photer sittin' in the press Wot makes 'is map look like a nasty mess A pitcher that present 'im to the mob A fair gazob. Me, I ain't vain, but it is past a joke To go an' print a crook dile of a bloke So that the mob sez, 'Is this Digger? Struth! 'E's changed a good bit since 'is flamin' youth. We thort 'e was a better lookin' chap. Strike! Wot a man!' Why make me look like somethin' choice in crooks? For, if I ain't got nothin' but me looks, Why, gimme looks, an' bung a photer in That gives me sex-appeal a dinkum spin I ain't - (For w'ich remark 'e'll please excuse) No Billy Hughes. An' so, I sends 'erewith me dinkum chiv - The dinkum Digger, w'ich I 'ope you'll give A bit o' space to 'elp along your sales An' mind you say I come from Noo South Wales! That ought to fetch 'em. So you play your part, An' 'ave a 'eart.