The Dictator

Avaunt! What news is this I hear Of portent grim and sinister? Is he, whose words insult mine ear, A mere, upstart Prime Minister? Odds fish! These fellows hitherto Wore no demeanor critical; But, cap in hand, have sought my view On all affairs political. 'Sdeath! Has the caitiff not the sense To be polite and affable Like others, whose meek diffidence, At times, was even laughable? Aha! I made them sore afraid! They gave my schemes the preference, And murmured: 'Thank you, Mister Wade,' With low and seemly deference. Then, I had but to raise my hand, And ev'ry Fed'ral min-i-on Sprang hastily to my command, And bowed to my opin-i-on. 'Twas I that granted them the site To build their pesky capital; For, if approached with mien polite. I'm not a fearsome chap at all. 'Twasq I dictated all their laws And made State Frights substantially Their shibboleth; I marked the flaws, What time they schemed financially. I bade them to the Conference; They came with meek humility; And there I filled them with immense Respect for my ability. But now, this upstart Fisher man, Intent on irritating me, Has dared to moot a Fed'ral plan Without conciliating me. Zounds! I have spoken! And I speak With ominous obscurity. Let him beware, I say! . . . Next week: 'Tis pregnant with - futurity. Next week! Be warned! Here, in my sleeve Are certain things mysterious. It they be loosened, by my leave. . . . Aha! It will be serious! 0, I have words of weight and stress To tickle your auriculars. Enough! . . . Watch handbills and the press For further grim particulars.