Between The Space

When I was small I wanted - a pet. My mother didn't - like pets. 'It followed me home! ' 'Can I...keep it...can I...can..! ' didn't work & I invariably had to return the kidnapped cat to the house I had 'borrowed' him from. Between the space where my mother wrung screaming wet clothesthrough the rollers and out the other side to quite flatness and the coal bunker where a briquette wire spat at me almost nearly blinding my left eye I captured a Cabbage White hiding amongst the coal. Emptying the strawberry jam with the gollywog on I gave her a world of glass where she danced to the sunlight's mad music. Neither she nor I understanding the nature of glass her dancing grew frantic my love stiffling. I not knowing all things must breathe the dancing died to a sudden stop. Being an impressionable child and after only seeing a life safety film I dived throught the panic and swamn madly against the guilt took her gently into my trembling fingers...her dusty colour taking my fingerprints I tried to give her the kiss of life choked with grief and swallowed her terror in my mind butterfly in my tummy and fear running blind and crazy that I could not give her her dancing back again. I said nothing for years (about the incident) until I could explain myself to myself and my self ...understood.