Car Washers (Fun Poem 34)

You pull into a car park and they spring out of nowhere. “Do you want your car washed while you’re doing your shopping? We do not charge a lot.” My answer is no. “Sorry mate but my car is under scientific study. I am an insect- ornithologist. I study bird droppings and insect splatters. I get out every night with my tweezers, take the remaining bits off, and put them in a specimen jar. I am also going in for the dirtiest car of the year award. I have won it three times already. So you see my car does not need a wash thank you.” They look at me somewhat strangely before they go on their merry way. Therefore, the next time you pull into a car park and someone wants to wash your car. Just tell them you are an insect-ornithologist engaged in a scientific study. They will never understand what you mean. They might think you are somewhat strange, but you will save yourself a packet. Now that ain’t strange, that is wise. (22 July 2007)