Ethel And The Streaker (Fun Poem 82)

Based on characters created by Ray Stevens in his song The Streak. Now Ethel was doing her shopping with here friend Maizey-Be, the local gossip of the community. As they pushed their trolleys to the car when someone shouted, “Don’t look ladies! ” It was too late; Ethel looked and was moved on the spot. Her mouth dropped open with absolute shock. There darting across the car park in all his naked glory with a saggy physic was a streaker. Maizey-Be saw him too and fainted to the ground. As fast as he came the streaker was now gone. Ethel was in the library with her friend Maizey-Be, the local gossip of the community. They just picked a book from the shelf when someone shouted, “Don’t look Ladies.” It was too late, Ethel already had an eye full and was moved on the spot and dropped her book the streaker came running through the isle between the bookcases in all his saggy glory. Maizey-Be saw him too and fainted on the floor as the streaker rushed by and disappeared out the door. Ethel was at a baseball game with her friend Maizey-Be, the local gossip of the community. As they watched, the batter hit a ball into out field someone shouted, “Ladies don’t look! ” Too late, Ethel looked with her binoculars and was moved on the spot. The streaker was her beloved husband Fred Trotalot. He was showing everyone more than she had seen in years as he streaked around the diamond to the home base. Now Ethel and Maizey-Be were not going to be out done. They peeled off their cloths and after Fred did run. To their sagging body parts, it was a breath of fresh air. Fred looked back and muttered to himself at the site. “Oh my goodness, what have I done! ” The ladies all wrinkly and crinkly showed off their finery to all those in the press box who at the shock closed their eyes. Fred kept on running, wanting to get there. He couldn’t stop, as he had nothing to wear. The police came running on to the field, blankets in their hands to cover up the states that was running round the field. As each one they caught, they marched them of the field, until it was only Ethel that was still running around. Maizey-Be had fainted by this time and rolled on her stomach to hide her modesty. The crowd gave an ecstatic applause as Ethel ran with her arms in the air. It was as if she had scored a home run. The police finally caught her and all three were charged with giving everyone the best laugh of the afternoon. The baseball game continued after this short interlude. 4 July 2008