Self-Mocking

Whenever I self mock over a compliment I have been given it is not to insult the person who gave it, more to injure myself. I can cope with most things that are given to me except compliments. Sound Strange? When I was growing up many years ago, I was belittled by family and friends alike. They made me feel like a misfit, so a misfit I became. I endured insults about me in every way shape and form. Compliments were never given and became a stranger to me. Now that I am older, I do not stand easy when compliments are given and I have to mock myself and make a parody out of me. I grew up feeling useless in everything I did. They did not realise what they were doing and hurting that they caused. I t was not jokes they threw at me, but hurting insults that made me feel insecure. Now when compliments come I cannot accept them readily. I cannot accept that anyone would want to compliment me, so I self mock myself you see. 10 November 2008