A Christmas Nightmare

The farmer phoned this morning With news of our bird And it's all so depressing The worst I have heard The turkey died of bird flu He wants me to know So ‘twas sausage and bacon And mashed potato The little Christmas puddings Were hard as a rock They broke granddad's false teeth And now he's in shock We pulled the Christmas crackers They were all a damp squid Which was so darn annoying They cost twenty quid We sat and watched the telly Kings speech was a bore Granddad sat on the sofa And started to snore Christmas was just like last year I just want it to end Now we have a power cut I'm going round the bend!