A Very British Thing

The New Year's Honours list Has with its regular absurdity, And with many a wry twist, Showered baubles on celebrity, Athletes, pop singers: none were missed. Peerages handed out with a splash On an industrial scale to party donors And party hacks does seem rather rash And don't forget intrepid business owners (And never let it be said, some even for cash) . We need to balance this anachronistic And tawdry system with such egregious Recipients as Savile. We need something drastic. We need something for the idiot notorious Whose recipients would not be enthusiastic. We need a Medal for Outstanding Stupidity To be awarded to the great and the good Only their stupid actions would be its validity And this should be clearly understood To win the Medal for Outstanding Stupidity. There are so many that I could nominate But to mention them by name I would be sued, But we could all think of a few, none I'd eliminate, Their stupidity makes us all so amused. Those idiots in charge, even their names grate. Most come from Eton and Harrow And end up with a parliamentary seat Their policies all short-term and narrow And their stupidity makes them complete. (As intelligent as a month old marrow) . So let us institute this new medal And get those in charge to all agree And tell them not to interfere or meddle With decisions made by you and me On who to award the Medal of Outstanding Stupidity.