On A Hill Above Yuchi Township

I measure the hill by rhythm of breath Collecting to inhale at each second push My left foot makes against the slope To keep from gasping on the out-breath On this long morning walk To get a look down on where My life has been keeping itself. After each burst of speed I watch my heart, So momentum won't slow with a sudden droop; My hepatitis war wound lets me off for today My energy carries me forty steps at one go, But around me are circles of darkness: Everything that tried to tear me down, From dangers of speed-car youth, To networks that don't reweave And judgments that slice my fingers, My life fought to bring itself here Through all the circles of yin; It's better this way, to work against the drag Than to inflate toward sudden explosion. It's better to be occluded, a knot of desire, Dust devil whipped into a shape With landscapes of inner whorl and grain, Dust devil stirred up by energy Empetalled around its plan, Knowing many aims, and so entangling more, Seeing how emptiness around the knots awaits Differently from emptiness above loose sand, So emptiness may not always be the same. First let energy learn its re-gathering Then release it into emptiness Or life can go no further. For now submit to gravity, Extend one foot and lean toward the next rock, Choose the likely way to stay around, Like remains of a journey in a jungle wreck. O please let my shattered plan remain! Involve me in vehicles however incomplete, If only to place in cupboard corners, to pull out someday. Return me down this hill to the tasks of the day. I have failed to send my spirit abroad; Return me to the usual buildings and grounds To prove with my sodden spirit Even as it clings close to my own bones, To prove with the smallest of answerings What it takes to leap across any gap at all.