Penguin Paradice

Each penguin's such a precious thing, Content to honk all day! Each wide-webbed foot, each floppy wing, To them, they're quite OK. The water's cold! They walk on ice! Do you hear them complain? To them, this place is Paradise! They say, 'No p.p.p.pain, no g.g.g.gain! ' You won't catch me in ice cold sea And gobbling ice cold fish! They'd soon lose all their novelty - They're not the ideal dish... The easy life, that's all I want - Not fish day in, day out... My choice in every restaurant! Yes, that's what life's about! And central heating suits me fine And clothes and jewels, too... Some champagne or some fancy wine And then I'll muddle through. But fish, fish, fish would drive me mad! I'd soon curl up my lips! With no potatoes to be had, There'd be no fish and chips! No telly and no radio, No papers to peruse... Live as a penguin? No, thank you! This human life I'd choose...