The Invaders!

I heard a kind of whirring noise Outside the house today! A spaceship landed! Oh, what joys! I said, 'Oi, go away! You can't park there, it's private land! We've paid the mortgage, too... And that's where our extension's planned, So clear off, why don't you! ? ' The Captain marched straight up to me And grabbed me by the throat! The cheeky swine! No courtesy! He even tore my coat... He pulled the sleeves off one-by-one! Then threw them on the ground! His crewmates laughed and thought it fun, As I stood still and frowned! 'How dare you, sir! ' I told him straight! But he gave no regard... In fact, he stared at me with hate, Right there in our backyard! He zapped our rooftop aerial And laughed right in my face! 'You've gone too far, you stupid fool... Go on, go back to space! ' He tweeked my nose! He kissed my lips! He even messed my hair! And then he poked me in the ribs! That's something I can't bear! 'Just you wait here! You alien! ' And then I went inside... My Mother-In-Law came out and then They shrieked and ran to hide! She chased them here, she chased them there! Two frying pans went BLAM! The spaceship soon flew in the air When she told them to scram! She sewed my sleeves back on once more, So my coat looked brand new! Guys, without my Mother-In-Law, I don't know what I'd do... Denis Martindale, copyright, October 2012.