Magazine Girl

ALL women are lovely and radiantly fair In the magazine pages today, They all have a mop of luxuriant hair, In the magazine pages today. There's not one with freckles or nose gone askew, Or teeth that protrude, as some real girls' do, There isn't a blemish on girls that we view In the magazine pages today. There's not one too pudgy or not one too thin, In the magazine pages today; Nor one who's just losing her tortoise shell pin, In the magazine pages today. 'Twixt shirtwaist and belt there is never a gap, Or a tear in the silk that is lining her wrap, And her gloves never lack a pearl button or snap, In the magazine pages today. She doesn't wear pink when she ought to wear blue, In the magazine pages today; And she isn't run down at the heel of her shoe, In the magazine pages today. You never can see when she hasn't a hat, How much is real hair and how much of it's rat, It's only in real life that we see things like that, Not in magazine pages today.