Paying

I've got to rest my weary mind, It labored hard today. It washed my clothes, and fixed my chair, And threw my trash away. It focused every moment spent On things it shouldn't do. For all I know it wasted those, By thinking just of you. I should have paid for overtime, But can't afford it now. I spend it all on silly ways To keep my sacred vow. She still don't know, I act the same. I've learned how not to tell. Sometimes, I think it best she know. Perhaps, it's just as well. For now, you haunt my sleeping hours By seeping through my dreams. I can't escape you anymore. My thoughts aren't mine it seems. How can I live my life this way? This man, whom she adores. Not seeing harm in telling lies, As I have told her scores. What joy is there in keeping vows, A weary mind can't say? What rest is there to thus be found While holding love at bay? I guess I've got to pay somehow For what I want to do. My mind is working overtime. And payment's, coming due.