The Hospitable Caledonian and the Thankless Viper

A Caledonian piper Who was walking on the wold Nearly stepped upon a viper Rendered torpid by the cold; By the sight of her admonished, He forbore to plant his boot, But he showed he was astonished By the way he muttered "Hoot!" Now this simple-minded piper Such a kindly nature had That he lifted up the viper And bestowed her in his plaid. "Though the Scot is stern, at least he No unhappy creature spurns, 'Sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,'" Quoth the piper (quoting Burns). This was unaffected kindness, But there was, to state the fact, Just a slight soupcon of blindness In his charitable act. If you'd watched the piper, shortly You'd have seen him leap aloft, As this snake, of ways uncourtly, Bit him suddenly and oft. There was really no excuse for This, the viper's cruel work, And the piper found a use for Words he'd never learned at kirk; But the biting was so thorough That although the doctors tried, Not the best in Edinburgh Could assist him, and he died. And THE MORAL is: The piper Of the matter made a botch; One can hardly blame the viper If she took a nip of Scotch, For she only did what he did, And his nippie wasn't small, Otherwise, you see, he needed Not have seen the snake at all.