His Stenographer

As he dictates to her Does she love you?—well, I wonder— Married twenty years, they say! You, so bald and fat and funny, Grubbing like a mole for money? Guess she likes to spend the plunder— Gee—she knows the way! She's a grand one—Lord! what dresses! Handsome too, proud as a queen— With her doings in the papers, Dinners, dances, all the capers, Likes to lead the show, my guess is! You're the gold machine! If she knew you as I know you, Would she spend it—say? If she knew each trick and quibble— Little fishes hooked that nibble, Business murders—would she show you Such a grand-stand play? You're a savage money-maker— Good to her, though, sure—and me. Kind old pirate! What in thunder Does she think of you, I wonder? What neat stories do you take her, So she will not see?