A Great Invention

Cantankerous she was, his wife she carried on her a sharp knife. And when the moon sent her a sign or after a huge glass of wine she'd hold the knife up to his chin though rarely cut her husband's skin. He did behave, it must be mentioned and all his deeds were well-intentioned, however, even whimps will baulk so hubby deemed himself a hawk, at times, with talons and a beak he'd shed the image of a meek subservient nerd and here is how he braced himself for his own Frau. He grabbed a knife of equal size (well, fairness is a thing with guys) , and strapped it to his trouser belt she'd see it there, of course, he felt that armed would give him a slight edge though there were no true bets to hedge. The woman, due to hormone spiking was feeling poorly, being Viking (descendant from the folks from Norse) she soon demanded a divorce. The knife came out and she went close and almost touched her husband's nose. He, fearing now to be outdone tried soothing words, like sweetheart, hon, but she had gone to loonyland thus hubby showed his well-armed hand which prompted her to feign a strike it is what fencing warriors like. The blades were pinned against each other the pushed and strained, then she said: 'Brother, do you my husband see my pimple the one the doctor labelled simple and left to sprout there on my chin it seems to've gone inside the skin.' They looked but could not find the lesion which normally has full adhesion through epidermis into flesh and anchored through a fibrous mesh. How could a pimple disappear? Well, while they searched she turned her ear and snip, a piece fell to the ground quite visibly but without sound. 'Hold on' said he, 'Are you demented, I think we have, just now invented a tool which somehow cuts by friction though it must be a contradiction that knives held tight would cut with ease so shall we try it on Swiss cheese? ' They spent the evening together, outside the wind had brought foul weather he used his drill to cut two holes then looked at the opposing poles or blades if you prefer the name it had become, by now, a game, a bolt was matched to a small nut the proper term was to abut both bolt and nut and fasten so two knives together in one go. The wife, now in the best of moods (she liked inventive, clever dudes) brought rags and papers to the table and found the tool was wholly able to cut through all of it with ease (though not at all through the Swiss cheese) . The could not find a rhyme for scissor (the word itself may be a fizzer) so, after having a few beers they simply called the gadget SHEARS. Addendum: Now you too know how sometimes strife between a husband and his wife can lead to positive solutions like this, a useful contribution.