Canadians

A handsome, male, Canadian Goose had, since that morning, rather loose and frequent bouts of very runny...... you know, and no, it wasn't funny now let me tell to you the reason. December is the Christmas Season, and geese are often on the menu thus no surprise that at this venue at a small town named Chilliwack the hunters went on the attack. Now Mr. Goose was known as gander and he was prone to just meander through all the gardens and the woods to look for culinary goods. He had, needless to say, decreed that she should wait to get her feed and since the gander's high IQ would always tell him what to do they would be safe to New Year's Day when hunting closed out on the Bay. It now so happened that the base of Mrs. Goose's hiding blace was at the bottom of the Mill where she could sit no longer still. She scrambled up the steep incline and crossed a well known danger line. A man, well armed was walking near and caused the goose a bit of fear. She ran to gain her take-off speed slowed down by snow and frozen weed and as it started now to hail the hunter was right on her tail. Now female geese don't have the wits of ganders, but they get the shits whenever danger shows its head the question is, be loose or dead. So, was it instinct or an urge of Nature when a sudden purge of quite substantial gooseshitgreen came flying out onto the scene? Pursuit is often quite successful but also can be rather stressful. Precisely at the moment when the goose decided, once again that she was doomed this day, would lose this battle and her gander goose, there was an empty sound at last, she recognised it from the past there would be only gaseous bluff she hadn't eaten quite enough. But, with a bang that could be heard by each and every Northern bird a chocolate well filled with nuts exploded from her inner guts. The night before, her gander man had hatched an urgent, special plan he sat, in silence, and subdued to get his lady in the mood. And from his soft, Canadian wing he did retrieve a gift-wrapped thing. It was a chocolate bar from Lindt, the foil was taken by the wind. She swallowed it, without a thought (and happiness had just been bought) . But since she didn't chew the nuts they went intact, right to her guts. Nut pellets hit the man who lusted to get his goose, his glasses busted, he fell without a further sound into the green sauce on the ground. By now, the goose had gathered knots and since she was no clumsy klutz she lifted in the winter air just missing a tall Polarbear. She honked to let the gander know and soon he could be seen in tow. They left the region, flew to Rome and made themselves a Latin home. The man who had been knocked out cold had turned and on the slick ice rolled down the incline just when the bear was looking for his season's share. So you can see that when a gander gets up to go and just meander it's best to keep each female feather out of the fickle winter weather.