Church Matters

The vicar had as it was writ denounced the devil, in a fit. The one who tempts all mice and men picked on a preacher now and then. He had, in steaming summer weather sent him a barmaid (name was Heather) . She bore a Bardolino flagon (the vicar had been on the wagon) . He did resist, at first through prayer but when she lifted the first layer of petticoat and under-ruffles he did go after her sweet truffles. And while the orgy was in motion the devil, full of hot devotion, snatched quickly, with a fleeting frown a pettycoat and vicar's gown. God watched with anger and disdain and sent, to punish her, a pain into the depth of loins afire. She whispered, 'now you've hurt me, Sire.' And so you know what it all means. When youngsters in their early teens experiment above the knee the 'ouch' is spelled virginity.