Do Earwigs Have Hair?

An earwig, brown and also shiny sat on a river bank, alone. Compared to others he was tiny, a critter made of skin and bone. This mission's solitary aim was simply to elucidate his role in God's creation game, to find himself, at any rate. For many long and lonely hours he stared into the stream's reflection. Half sitting in a sea of flowers, a specimen of weird perfection. And when the Moon arrived at last, dead shadows out to find their prey, the little guy crawled very fast into a giant stack of hay. His intricate, but feeble mind was at a loss as much as ever, his image, front and from behind did look presentable, but never would he resemble to keen eyes a hairless critter, plain and nude, and to this day he does despise the EARWIG name as rather crude.