It's The Sickly Season

Young lady, may I be so bold to steal a kiss to heal my cold? You see, the germs I caught have screwed inside my throat, which is quite rude. Now millions see the light of day and I'm the one who has to pay. They first stick to laryngeal tissue where dark and moisture is an issue, appealing, also mandatory they then create a purgatory of mayhem with their little pricks. Each germ makes clones, two billion six. Secreting sweet and tasty stuff until it bathes, just enough the area for this invasion an opportunist's sweet occasion. I beg your pardon for the text that is presented here and next; the buggers masturbate (it's true) thus getting partners to renew their life-essential fascination: Through pheromones to fornication. The host, asleep and unaware, they mark each cell by Croix de Guerre and mix on an atomic level the slime, a product of the Devil. At first it's yellow but quite soon resembles snod from a spittoon, which means viscosity increases and one can see some solid pieces all coloured green for an effect on other microbes I suspect. So now they've really taken charge with billions busy and at large they eat small bits of YOU, oh yes, and make inside your mouth a mess. Their troupes have individual skills; where one erodes, the other kills some are dispatched up to the nose where doctors later diagnose rhinitis purulent, infective and give the usual directive of symptomatic intervention, to put an end to this convention of tiny tots who pitter-patter, inside your gizzard where they splatter their streptocousins everywhere, with mean intent and easy flair. Of course, I'm kidding, just a bit, while colds will make you feel like shit, your body overcomes them quickly and you will shed the pale and sickly appearance within days at most. No longer must you play the host, to mention I shall not forget your doctor, only if you let him write a script for magic pills you'd be advised to seek the hills because, there is no real cure for those conditions, that's for sure. That is because the germs I mentioned above as being ill-intentioned, are mostly of the viral kind and, if you look you soon will find that man has never learned to beat most viruses because they cheat and hide themselves from antibodies thus make them look like Fuddy-Duddies and pounce in darkness and at night victorious and out of sight. So, here is my own remedy: When colds and flu are eyeing thee, instill two drops of my own magic a liquid which is virophagic into each ear, three times a day. It keeps the germs and docs away. You ask what might this potion be that can prevent your misery? It is peroxide, three percent I thought that was self-evident.