Jungle Hypnosis

Under a green canopy my two buddies asking me why we ever came to Asia, to the jungles of Malaisia. Broken was that bloody Rover and the engine shipped from Dover would arrive when the Monsoon hit the region all too soon. Since we had some time to kill we decided that the thrill of the local big Casino where they play Blackjack and Keno would be just the thing to do. I was well-informed and knew that the locals still would eat animal and human meat. So it came, that with a grin we were told about the win. We had hit the pot called Jack and they pointed to the stack of those yankee greenish notes. Then two men in fancy coats came to greet 'Congratulations'. As with all those corporations papers needed to be signed, as we did, right from behind twenty soldiers had assembled two of us now feared and trembled, we could see that they meant harm, off went white man's loud alarm. They took us and all the dough to the Palace where the pro stood before the giant portal like a man who is immortal. 'Come', he said, 'it's time for dinner and we welcome any winner to the Palace when we dine we will serve Malaysian wine.' Far from blind we wined and dined, quite a contrast from the grind of the jungle without wheels, those who know just how that feels understand the jungle soul and the young explorers' role. Came dessert and a cigar, Chief then said 'you won't get far with the loot that you have taken from the poor, you Godforsaken thieving white men this is it! ' We knew that we were in the shit and from the corner of my eye I now observed a toothless guy who sharpen his machete knife on a wet stone held by his wife. From the kitchen came new sounds, as for us, we did have grounds to be a little bit concerned just then the biggest honcho turned to face his people, then he preached 'These funny fellows, tall and bleached from the Continent of Whites will be given their last rites, and by then the pots be boiling and the women will be oiling white man's skin in preparation...' What a wonderful vacation! We were panick-stricken now tried to quickly figure how to escape these cannibals and to save me and my pals. So, my buddy Fred said 'Chief, may I speak, I shall be brief, I and my two comrades here are resigned and have no fear, as the women start to baste to improve, for later, taste may we join, yes, all of us in a prayer without fuss, it will please the white man's God and he'll give you then the nod. Just a short time to invest it will help you to digest. Since the blessing comes from Heaven we will need the time of seven minutes, do I have permission? ' And the Chief made his decision 'sure we grant you this request, although, after you've been blessed we must go on with the meal and there will be no appeal.' Fred who is a hypnotist and by Mesmer had been kissed stood and said in somber tone: 'Anyone who owns a bone will soon experience a feeling of innermost and soothing healing, your eyes will close when I say NUMBER and you will drift into deep slumber. Relax my people and go deep into a long relaxing sleep, no sound, no movement will affect no eyes will open to detect or otherwise be wise to things You shall awake when morning brings the sun back from the Coral Sea, and only then will you be free to move again and think of eating, sleep well now, I adjourn this meeting.' Hot tears welled up in all six eyes, Fred had put UNDER all those guys. We quickly checked to see if maybe a truck existed, when -Oh BABY - we found a Hemi five-point-seven, I was in first and started rev vin' we loaded up the Cherokee with all our winnings, laughingly, then floored the pedal, let those horses unleash their Daimler-Chrysler forces, criss-crossed the jungles of Malaysia and vowed not to return to Asia.