Kunigunde - The King's Sister

My name is Olaf Dangelmaier I am accused to be a liar, a traitor to the King at that a coward, ugly like a rat. The Royal Court has now decreed that I shall pay for excess greed by hanging from the castle's rafter until I reach the life hereafter. The King allowed me still to choose a meal before I meet the noose, but I requested my last wish to be a different kind of dish. I had in days before seen class in what is called a horse's ass. The sister of the mentioned King was sooo obese, but she could sing. In charge of entertainment, she had, early on, laid eyes on me. All servants to the Royals knew that Kunigunde was a true and loyal woman, only that she found no man due to her fat. The King felt sorry for his sis' and sensed the need for her to kiss, before the ravages of age would end her work up on the stage. But gold and silver had not found a husband for this very round and somewhat bald and homely girl. Just last July, a British Earl had turned away in true disgust, 'a detriment to British lust! ' She came with riches and a castle but he declined, it was a hassle. I saw my last and final chance and asked for a slow Polka dance, my wish was granted by the sister and notarised by the Philister. The sun had set behind the trees, I slowly rose with wobbly knees, and then proceeded with my plan, the brainchild of a desperate man. The music filled the dancing hall we moved with grace, from wall to wall. Her garlic breath surrounded us she pirouetted like a bus. And then, she sang a Polka Rap as through a huge incisor gap came, soothingly, some lovely tones accompanied by........ pheromones. Soon found myself drawn to her breasts which overflowed, up at the crest of her pink gown of bright chiffon, the time had come, she turned me on. We danced and let the evening linger the King was shown her middle finger, her hand had grabbed me by the butt and, all in all, the scene was hot. The Minnesanger had arrived, my plan, which could be called contrived, was going well, as i had hoped. She whispered 'what if we eloped? ' And, with the blessing of the King I did install a five-inch ring on my new bride and royal saviour. The pardon was for good behaviour. And if you ever face your death you must get used to garlic breath. As well as each unusual trait what matters is your mental state. Dedicated to Au Canada.