Louise Visits The Doctor

'I need to have this strange condition that's bugged me now for fourteen blasted days, my man is in a hurry (goin' fishin') , fixed still this morning, better right aways. It is the dizzigo, the book says vertical I think, comes on me sudden like, though I don't touch the stuff. And when it hits me I sit down and have to stink, must be a connection there but it is really rough when at the baker's veritable thunder shocks the man, and gettin' home I find fresh traces in my nickers it seems that if I hold it in as best I can the dizzigo comes back and Athol snickers. See here, Doc that's the traces I just mentioned it seems I have a choice, it's either stumbling or from the other end, with no intention a load of air and stuff, I hear it rumbling this very moment, would you take your blessed scope and listen, maybe find the real reason because, I tell you Doc, I'll get myself the rope if this is permanent, oh, also when I'm sneezin' it really has a noticeable effect so here I am, I trust you'll fix this mad disease there is some evidence, I just now checked... a tiny trickle has run down to both my knees.' The doctor checked Louise (straight from the farm) , the consultation was cut short, to 'very brief', she had cooperated with her country charm and in the end she said, 'Good Heavens', and 'Good Grief', when doc had found the cause of her estranged condition. Right through the whole exam she played her tunes with the occasional malodorous emission. He made his diagnosis when two chunks of prunes flew out and landed on the doctor's snow white coat, she told him that she had, for many weeks munched thirty prunes for brekkie, they worked by remote, though she had never noticed more than tiny leaks. So he explained about her blood's electrolytes that had been buggered by the prunes and made her sick, enough to cause piquant and frequent passage rites and the prescription that he wrote would do the trick. It said 'Ol. ricini, repeat a dozen times'. Louise went home and never once did leave the farm. She'd sit and read inside the outhouse, nursery rhymes but even there Louise retained a certain charm.