Some Limericks

In the village there lived a strange hound, he would always just wander around. When he sniffed other critters he would suffer the jitters and you soon found him underground. ******************************************************** There once lived a grouchy old broad who behaved like an arrogant god. One could see on her shoulders not a chip but big boulders and her shoulder pads looked rather odd. ********************************************************* There once was a dummy named Ark who would hide and then shoot from the dark, with the chest of a pigeon and the brain of a smidgeon. And his bite was as weak as his bark. ********************************************************** In the cold near the stormy Atlantic stands a cottage that looks quite romantic. And the man who's inside, he has something to hide. And his secrets look rather pedantic. ********************************************************** A granny who was a great poet, she has posted her and we all know it. She has once been so tipsy that the gang named her Gypsy so she seized all her talent to grow it. ****************************************************** There once was a lady named Flo who made Pizza from blackberry dough. And this wonderful snack turned consumers all black. That's a racial remark as you know. ******************************************************* There once was a grumpy old Kraut, he was blond and blue-eyed and quite stout. And he proved a quick learner and his first name was Wernher he was almost an astronaut. ****************************************************** There once was a groucho named Hitler, he imagined himself as a fiddler. He climbed up to the roof and the world then went poof. And I dedicate this to Bett Middler. ******************************************************* In the desertland close to San Diego, sits a woman and plays with her Lego. She is probably fat with the face of a bat and she drives a dark blue Winnebago. ************************************************************ I once knew a grumpy old Jew, they had baptised the boy, named him Prew. He became my best buddy when he helped me to study. He's now running the Hannover Zoo. **************************************************** There once was a Condoleeza, she required no visitor's visa. When she went to Beijing for a little old fling, but was told off by Chinaman Geezer. ****************************************************** There once lived a man named Hussein. He was powerful, cruel and vain. Then the big Honcho Yankee who despised Hanky-Panky he devised a neat plan in his brain. Get the ruler of all those strange turbans, and behead him to end this disturbance. And to make people free he would give them the key. And Iraquis would start drinking Bourbon. **************************************************** There once was a leader named Howard who had all the fine traits of a coward. On the word from the Yanks he had ordered his tanks. And his friendship has thus never soured.