The Atheist And The Grizzly

An atheist strolled through the breeze. 'What pretty flowers, handsome trees, what mighty rivers, awesome creatures oh my, I love all Nature's features.' So he had said in pensive mode still hiking down the forest's road. When suddenly, he heard a rustle and turned to face a grizzly's muzzle, the bear was soon in hot pursuit and he was huge, a real brute! A sevenfooter at the least, and out to catch him, for a feast. Now, quickening his steps to gain some distance, but it was in vain, the bear kept coming closer yet the atheist began to fret. He forced his scared but tired feet to run still faster, thus to beat the hot and smelly monster's breath which signalled him an early death. But grizzlies, as you may have read, run faster yet than Mister Ed and soon, the man fell in a heap, the bear was on him in a leap. Few words came from his lips, though odd, 'Oh God, Oh God, oh my, dear God! ' The clouds had parted, and suspended was time, as if the world had ended. A strong and bossy voice then spoke: 'What is it, man, now something's broke do you expect I be your saviour? When looking at your past behaviour, when you not only lived your life as godless, heathen; and your wife, due to your efforts taught her friends that things are random, and all ends in dust without a Paradise, you both kept spreading heathen lies! And now, about to be done in you clean forget your primal sin and ask to have your own life spared, so did you think I really cared? ' 'Dear God', the fellow whispered then, 'I am a non-believing man, and begging you, I do admit would make me one big hypocrite, thus would you in this instance mind to be forgiving, also kind and make the bear a true believer, he could become thus the receiver and also your ambassador to tell all critters of the lore that you would want them to believe and I could earn a last reprieve.? ' 'It shall be done', was heard the voice, God made his well-inspired choice, the sounds came back, the clouds filled in and time resumed its silly grin. The grizzly, who had paused before was now a Christian, what was more he had, in such an ordination grasped all the meaning of damnation and learned to pray to his new God, hence Grizzly started with a nod, then said, paws linked, in somber mood: 'I thank thee Lord, for this great food, thy bounty knows no end through Christ I've sworn to ditch the Poltergeist that previously was my good master. I see through you the food comes faster.' And, with these words, the bear began his sudden dominance of man, he knew, of course that atheists, the ones that angels never kissed were on the menu, not the ones in Utah and the land of Huns, all Biblebelters were protected, since God himself had once selected the men and women who would pray from June up to the first of May. As God allows them to survive a million grizzlybears will thrive. Just think, though, what if those who state that there can be no Pearly Gate, if they, by fortune or design, perhaps through spirits or good wine flock to the churches, there to pray! God would expect them to obey and welcome them into the fold the ranks of Christians, well be told that this would bring, hear hear my friend all life on earth to a quick end. For grizzlies, while they may be quiet and cuddly, would commence a riot if suddenly their source of tucker were gone, no grizzly plays a sucker it's their religion to imbibe sweet meat from any tasty tribe. Thus, you can see that God would never He is, quite rightfully, so clever he'd never let the heathens pray it would be folly, as they say.