Turkey In The Freezer

A man whose birthday had just come was given by his son (a bum) a parrot with an attitude, his language was considered rude. The man, a genuine optimist now tried for his ventriloquist to find a happy compromise the bird played deaf, which wasn't wise. One day, the vicar had stopped in and witnessed this strange bird of sin. He said, 'my son may God be kind this language makes me deaf and blind.' The vicar gone, the bird just raved and acted utterly depraved. Well, patience sometimes wears quite thin so now he grabbed him by the chin and yelled 'you sewer-mouthed old geezer, you're going, head first, in the freezer.' For twenty seconds there was heard a string of insults from the bird. But then, a silence did descend as if the bird was near the end. Now worried, yanking on the door not knowing what there was in store he did regard with kinder eyes his parrot who was still and wise. 'Oh master, my apologies I am so sorry, pretty please, I shall, from now, each single day serve you and love you, if I may.' The man, astonished at the change, could not quite grasp this sudden, strange and revolutionary shift, perhaps it was, from God a gift? But happy now, he said, 'my friend, I figured that you'd reached the end but I am fair and quite forgiving, so, welcome back, among the living.' The parrot smiled his crooked smile and thought about this for awhile and added 'Master, what's the word on that there lifeless turkeybird? '