Twelve Light Limericks

A young lady had travelled from Pisa, but had failed to arrange for a visa. So they turned her around on the technical ground that she wasn't the Mona Lisa. A young man from the city of Kotten, had befriended and now was besotten by a fisherman's girl with the good name of Merle. She was cute but she always smelled rotten He went out with his Golden Retriever, who caught, down by the creek, a gray beaver. So they roasted the meat and ate all but the feet, in the morning they both had a fever. At the edge of a lake stood a stork who was partial to frogs, not to pork. Said the smart frog, a nerd I am REALLY a bird and you MUST eat a bird with a fork. Down our street lives a fellow named Miser. He is said to have gotten no wiser. After forty-two years he was still in arrears with no kids and a very slow riser. A fellow named Frederick Wentzel had a habit of licking his pencil. He was sure it would glide for a much better ride with the lead being wet in the stencil. At the station were waiting two fags. Sitting patiently, reading their mags. With a bag in each hand do you, Sir, understand how each boarded the train with three bags? Jeremiah was handsome and fit, though he liked the occasional hit of a high grade cocain for emotional pain, but it ate away all of his wit. Said the doctor my dear Mrs. Riah if you drink so much Belgian biah you can surely expect as an aftereffect lots of foam and the diarrhea. Said the vicar of Rome after dinner I have BEEN a most terrible sinner. But I cannot decline when it comes to good wine, that's the reason I'm not getting thinner. She was serving the plumber some tea, which he promptly then spilled on his knee. Since the tea was quite hot she brought over a pot just to soothe it of course, not to pee. Can I BE, said the lady, your friend, you are truly to me a God-send, but this pact must be chaste and not even a taste can be shared (that's unless we pretend) .