The Jolly Miller

It was a Jolly Miller lived on the River Dee; He looked upon his piller, and there he found a flea: 'O Mr. Flea! you have bit' me, And you shall shorely die!' So he scrunched his bones against the stones-- And there he let him lie! Twas then the Jolly Miller he laughed and told his wife, And _she_ laughed fit to kill her, and dropped her carvin'-knife!-- 'O Mr. Flea!' 'Ho-ho!' 'Tee-hee!' They _both_ laughed fit to kill, Until the sound did almost drownd The rumble of the mill! _'Laugh on, my Jolly Miller! and Missus Miller, too!-- But there's a weeping-willer will soon wave over you!'_ The voice was all so awful small-- So very small and slim!-- He durst' infer that it was her, Ner her infer 'twas him! That night the Jolly Miller, says he, 'It's Wifey dear, That cat o' yourn, I'd kill her!--her actions is so queer,-- She rubbin' 'ginst the grindstone-legs, And yowlin' at the sky-- And I 'low the moon haint greener Than the yaller of her eye!' And as the Jolly Miller went chuckle-un to bed, Was _Somepin_ jerked his piller from underneath his head! 'O Wife,' says he, on-easi-lee, 'Fetch here that lantern there!' But _Somepin_ moans in thunder tones, '_You tetch it ef you dare!_' 'Twas then the Jolly Miller he trimbled and he quailed-- And his wife choked until her breath come back, 'n' she _wailed!_ And '_O!'_ cried she, 'it is _the Flea_, All white and pale and wann-- He's got you in his clutches, and _He's bigger than a man!_' '_Ho! ho! my Jolly Miller,' (fer 'twas the Flea, fer shore!) 'I reckon you'll not rack my bones ner scrunch 'em any more!_' And then _the Ghost_ he grabbed him clos't, With many a ghastly smile, And from the doorstep stooped and hopped About four hundred mile!