Tom Johnson's Quit

A passel o' the boys last night-- An' me amongst 'em--kindo got To talkin' Temper'nce left an' right, An' workin' up 'blue-ribbon,' _hot_; An' while we was a-countin' jes' How many bed gone into hit An' signed the pledge, some feller says,-- 'Tom Johnson's quit!' We laughed, of course--'cause Tom, you know, _He's_ spiled more whisky, boy an' man, And seed more trouble, high an' low, Than any chap but Tom could stand: And so, says I '_He's_ too nigh dead. Far Temper'nce to benefit!' The feller sighed agin, and said-- 'Tom Johnson's quit!' We all _liked_ Tom, an' that was why We sorto simmered down agin, And ast the feller ser'ously Ef he wa'n't tryin' to draw us in: He shuck his head--tuck off his hat-- Helt up his hand an' opened hit, An' says, says he, 'I'll _swear_ to that-- Tom Johnson's quit!' Well, we was stumpt, an' tickled too,-- Because we knowed ef Tom _had_ signed Ther wa'n't no man 'at wore the 'blue' 'At was more honester inclined: An' then and there we kindo riz,-- The hull dern gang of us 'at bit-- An' th'owed our hats and let 'er whizz,-- '_Tom Johnson's quit!_' I've heerd 'em holler when the balls Was buzzin' 'round us wus 'n bees, An' when the ole flag on the walls Was flappin' o'er the enemy's, I've heerd a-many a wild 'hooray' 'At made my heart git up an' git-- But Lord!--to hear 'em shout that way!-- '_Tom Johnson's quit!_' But when we saw the chap 'at fetched The news wa'n't jinin' in the cheer, But stood there solemn-like, an' reched An' kindo wiped away a tear, We someway sorto' stilled agin, And listened--I kin hear him yit, His voice a-wobblin' with his chin,-- 'Tom Johnson's quit-- 'I hain't a-givin' you no game-- I wisht I was!... An hour ago, This operator--what's his name-- The one 'at works at night, you know?-- Went out to flag that Ten Express, And sees a man in front of hit Th'ow up his hands an' stagger--yes,-- _Tom Johnson's quit_.'