Tugg Martin

I. Tugg Martin's tough.--No doubt o' that! And down there at The town he come from word's bin sent Advisin' this-here Settle-ment To kindo' _humor_ Tugg, and not To git him hot-- Jest pass his imperfections by, And he's as good as pie! II. They claim he's _wanted_ back there.--Yit The officers they mostly quit _Insistin'_ when They notice Tugg's so _back'ard_, and Sorto' gives 'em to understand He druther not!--A Deputy (The slickest one you ever see!) Tackled him _last_--'disguisin' then,' As Tugg says, 'as a gentlemen!'-- You 'd ort o' hear _Tugg_ tell it!--_My_! I thought I'd _die_! III. The way it wuz;--Tugg and the rest The boys wuz jest A-kindo' gittin' thawed out, down At 'Guss's Place,' fur-end o' town, One night, when, first we knowed, Some feller rode Up in a buggy at the door, And hollered fer some one to come And fetch him some Red-licker out--And whirped and swore That colt he drove wuz '_Thompson's_' shore! IV. Guss went out, and come in agin And filled a pint and tuck it out-- Stayed quite a spell--then peeked back in, Half-hid-like where the light wuz dim, And jieuked his head At Tugg and said,-- 'Come out a minute--here's a gent Wants you to take a drink with him.' V. Well--Tugg laid down his cards and went-- In fact, _we all_ Got up, you know, _Startin'_ to go-- When in reels Guss aginst the wall, As white as snow, Gaspin',--'_He's tuck Tugg!--wher's my gun_?' And-sir, outside we heerd The hoss snort and kick up his heels Like he wuz skeerd, And then the buggy-wheels Scrape--and then Tugg's voice hollerun',-- 'I'm bested!--Good-bye, fellers!' . . . 'Peared S' all-fired suddent, Nobody couldn't Jest git it fixed,--tel hoss and man, Buggy and Tugg, off through the dark Went like the devil beatin' tan- Bark! VI. What _could_ we do? . . . We filed back to The bar: And Guss jest _looked_ at us, And we looked back 'The same as you,' Still sayin' nothin'--And the sap It stood in every eye, And every hat and cap Went off, as we teched glasses solemnly, And Guss says-he: 'Ef it's 'good-bye' with Tugg, fer _shore_,--I say God bless him!--Er ef they Aint railly no _need_ to pray, I'm not reniggin!--board's the play, And here's God bless him, anyway!' VII. It must a-bin an hour er so We all set there, Talkin o' pore Old Tugg, you know, 'At never, wuz ketched up before-- When--all slow-like--the door- Knob turned--and Tugg come shamblin' in, Hand-cuffed'--'at's what he wuz, I swear!-- Yit smilin,' like he hadn't bin Away at all! And when we ast him where The _Deputy_ wuz at,--'I don't know where,' Tugg said,-- 'All _I_ know is--he's dead.'