Anticipation Is Such A Bore?

I've been running through graveyards ever since my life began, I've had the barrel of a gun levelled at me ever since I learnt to stand and run ever since I learnt to open my eyes, separate fact from fiction; tell the day from the night. Know a truth from a lie; I've been the object of a hangman's noose ever since my birth, I've been hovering over a trapdoor awaiting that lever, sandbag to fall and what's more, I prayed it would happen sooner rather than later my god, anticipation is "such a bore? "