Manifesto To Myself

I am a part of this Humanity caught between the angels and the apes. In the grid of my own life all my weaknesses ambush me, and there is nowhere I can go where they will not follow. I trade blow after blow with my surroundings, like Israeli and Palestinian, who continue to soak the ground with their blood rather than relinquish their litany of claims and trail of grievances. When will I overthrow my history's shadow and meet the immediate world around me as the theater and battleground of my own transformation? Blame, you have ridden sentinel, you have had my ear long enough. Self, cutting your confident path, turn around and see its tornado wake! Outward-fixed blindness that mimics sight, when will you turn and look clearly at yourself? Dark habits, you think you belong simply because you are so entrenched! How long to go on sowing the seeds of pain in my own environs, and then play victim? How long contribute to the trickster's brew whose spell institutionalizes oblivion? How long? As many blows as it takes to stop manufacturing new verbal prescriptions too rosy to apply in the stink of living as many as necessary to feel every cell's ultimate weariness and finally cry, 'Enough'!