0034 Poem With Which To Start A Poetry Reading

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is my first poetry reading and I’m very nervous and nearly cancelled tonight but I spoke about this to a friend who’s a therapist and he said, this is what you do, you imagine the audience in front of you all in their underwear (as you probably are; but without the outer layer) with the men wearing the most idiotic flowered Hawaiian two sizes too large boxer shorts and the ladies in the frumpiest underwear you can imagine apparently it works so if I look at you, ladies and gentlemen, somewhat strangely from time to time or giggle uncontrollably or my eyes rest on you personally as if we’re sharing some huge x-ray joke, please forgive me and understand that’s it for your benefit as well as mine and that you will have put your outerwear back on in the interval before the next poem I hope this is OK with you and nobody’s too embarrassed in fact you could do the same trick with me if it’s any help and now I think I’ve said enough as I’m OK now how about you? (For maximum effect, pause noticeably at the end of each line) (with thanks to Ernestine for the idea)