0126 A Longstanding Question

It’s rather a delicate personal matter… I could of course say I’m just asking for a friend… but I guess You’d see through that, from what I hear… I wouldn’t trouble You, but it’s not a question that concerned Adam since he had no comparative physiology any more than he had comparative theology… so it didn’t matter a figleaf to him… and Moses had the bigger picture in mind, and in his position had to keep up with the Tablets to use a medical term which we might refer to later… as for Jesus, well it didn’t affect him personally, of course, even as Son of Man, unless of course the Da Vinci Code is true but I’d rather not pursue such maudlin thoughts with You… and the new Pope hasn’t yet pronounced on this though I can guess he won’t be keen even if he’s slept on it; anatomically, at least… it’s like this: I get an awful lot of emails from complete strangers who seem to know my wife’s mind better than I suggesting that, well, she’d be happier if, you know, my *thing* were longer (and presumably thicker, though they make less of this…as if that’s slightly indecent…) and then, they go on to say that my wife (who likes her eight hours, and I have to leave early for work) would be even happier if I took certain tablets… even insidiously suggesting that if I don’t keep up with the Joneses in this I might lose her to Mr Jones… I guess they haven’t met my wife, or Mr Jones, as I was saying to Mrs Jones only the other evening: Now as the Creator of men, who seems to have handed out a pretty wide variety of these anatomical details, rather than, as we might expect, a Standard Size (and I don’t like to question Your authority, but it has led to some heated thinking and emoting; perhaps there are other factors of justice, destiny, etc., involved here?) and as Creator too, of eternal laws at all levels, which means that science can only make these things with Your – indirect, of course – consent, and human ingenuity (not that I’m trying to throw the blame back onto You…) but as there are, as Donald Rumsfeld says, things we don’t know we don’t know like side-effects we haven’t dreamed of, which – well I won’t say, tear apart the fabric of society as that's a bit of a cliché, but You must know what I’m getting at… or can this be some giant step for Mankind, in the providential, ongoing plan, the Intelligent Design, of (Your) evolution of species? I hope You see my problem (well, it wasn’t a problem before, and Mrs Smith has no complaints, at least not yet, she doesn’t read the emails) , so I’d be grateful for a brief response to my longstanding …(excuse my little joke) ... question? A postcard or equivalent would do; I wouldn’t like to inadvertently spamtrash Your email. Or a quiet word in the ear during prayer. But not the confessional box route please; I don’t think this problem has arisen for my local priest yet. Thanks. Your humble servant, J.Smith (retd.)