! You Couldn'T Make It Up...

Morning newspapers exist to bring us spluttering outrage at the breakfast table, Soggies splattered over our office gear... but sometimes they have it handed to them on a plate... our finest universities, concerned at the drop-out rate of students who just can't cut it (or perhaps, cut it just too much...) are considering in their donnish wisdom whether to postpone essential lectures to the afternoon... and this will dropp the drop-out rate? ... the afternoons - when healthy students take their exercise outdoors, budding actors have rehearsals, libraries are visited, clubbers wake to check their evening's gear... and those precious foreign students who pay for their tuition, wonder if they'd have done better just to stay at home... somehow, this problem never arose when college gates were locked at midnight; but then was then and now is now... fortunately, it won't affect the research for my doctorate in Youth Culture Studies...