Anniversary

Birthdays when you are old reminds you of the grave, you see it a freshly dug hole waiting just for you. People bring you wine, what else do an old man needs? Guests getting high on wine they brought you and it is all jolly. I try to join in. wife has made an effort candlelight and so on guests are people I never see unless meeting them at a pretentious art exhibition; and I think of my childhood when birthdays were important, I tell stories of a past of poverty and need; wife disrupts saying I should forget about the past, how can I it shaped me for what I´m today? Cakes I think of are those I never had in my infancy; cakes I baked, with condensed milk, when the captain had his birthday -if he was an ass hole I spat in the dough-, on ships made into nails somewhere in hot Bangladesh. How tired I´m lost in the past. Guests leave the old man´s party, but my wife is not stunned when calm falls I have to collect the dirty glasses and do the dishes.