Chain Letter

This chain letter knows your address This chain letter knows how many friends you have If you do not immediately forward this letter To all 128 of your friends, something bad may happen In fact, something bad is guaranteed to happen This chain letter has weapons and viruses This chain letter will cough right in your face This chain letter will dance on your grave The cemetery is full of tombstones that say 'Got a chain letter and ignored it' This chain letter has incendiary devices This chain letter is pure overkill There are so many ways this chain letter could take you out It would have trouble just making up its mind Better get busy; go buy some stamps now Get to work making some copies of this letter This chain letter has pipe bombs This chain letter has chemical weapons This chain letter is aerosolized hate This chain letter would kidnap your first-born Make the Lindbergh baby look like a walk on a sunny beach This chain letter knows all your secrets The names of all your old lovers And how you screwed your best friends fiance And sent him a secret postcard on his honeymoon This chain letter could name names This chain letter knows how petty you are This chain letter knows you always take the biggest cut This chain letter knows you cashed in those CD's This chain letter knows where you hid the gourmet chocolates And that you drink alone This chain letter knows about those hang up calls you made We know you faked all those orgasms And we know about those abortions And the child that you've never even seen And those DUI's; and the bribe money You haven't been to confession in ages And your mother died alone, not having seen you in 2 years And you put her in that nursing home The one that she always told you she hated- And you felt no compunction at all, did you? Just send the letters. Do it now.