Things More Certain Than Death

"Have a seat", said the Turtle. The Porcupine adjusted his quills and parked himself. "You know", said the Turtle, there are things more certain than death." The Porcupine smiled. "Like taxes? " The Turtle shook her head. "No, more certain than taxes." "Really? " "Yes. Look, after all—as Marcel Duchamp pointed out— death always happens to others. And if we talk even more seriously, we have to admit that death is both an abstraction and a mystery. Moreover, it appears to be a transition, a transformation to another state of existence. Life is eternal." "I see", said the Porcupine. ‘So what is more sure than death? " "Well", said the Turtle, "we agree that we are not sure what death is. On the other hand, we can be quite sure that you are not a crocodile." "True", allowed the Porcupine. "I am not. Neither am I a rhinoceros, nor a coconut tree, nor an infinity of other things." "Right", said the Turtle. "And then I also humbly suggest to consider the magnificent certainties of the calendar, or the multiplication table. Tuesday is always preceded by Monday, and three times five is always fifteen, respectively."