When I Was In Heaven

I looked for you in heaven when I was there I looked for your green eyes, and blonde hair, Then I looked for the shape of your tiny face I looked and searched for you in every place. But, you or your spirit I just could not find I felt as though that I had went unmindful and blind, Your looks had been permanently burnt into my soul And at one time, you made me feel whole. But, you were no were to be found in paradise I even looked, and then searched again........ twice, I then looked for your family and all of your friends But, I heard they were off making eternal amends. None of your family or friends made it to heaven yet That statement filled my soul with sadness and regret, I wished you were all in heaven for me to touch and see But, I guess you and them, didn't want that to be, I so wished that you had never lied or cheated And that to others you had never used or mistreated, I also wished that you never falsely accused Or unto others you never spiritually and mentally abused. I wished that you had continually gone to church And I wished it was not you, but our pastor preaching from the perch, I wished most of all that you had found God Instead of passing him up, with a yawn and a nod. In heaven I still continued to look for only you You were still in my thoughts when I saw the sky so blue, And then when I saw an Angel I felt total bliss I then remembered for a moment, your hugs and kiss. I was so happy when I saw my family and friends once again It was great being in heaven and relinquished of all sin, Sadly though in heaven you I never ever found Then I was told with tears that you was never heaven bound. On a cloud in heaven I will now sit forever all alone Now knowing that in Hell, you were sadistically thrown, On earth I heard that you had suffered slowly and then died Then I heard at your passing, not one person had cried. Randy L. McClave