Slugging Saint

'Twas in a pub in Battersea They call the "Rose and Crown," Quite suddenly, it seemed to me, The Lord was looking down; The Lord was looking from above, And shiny was His face, And I was filled with gush of love For all the human race. Anon I saw three ancient men Who reckoned not of bliss, And they looked quite astonished when I gave them each a kiss. I kissed each on his balding spot With heart of Heaven grace . . . And then it seemed there was a lot Of trouble round the place. They had me up before the beak, But though I told my tale, He sentanced me to spend a week In Yard of Scotland Gaol. So when they kindly set me free Please don't think it amiss, If Battling Bill of Battersea, For love of all humanity Gives you a kiss.