A Losing Battle

Going down fast and hard, trying to stay afloat, trying with all my heart not to succumb to the depression rushing into me. It would be so easy just to let go, give up, I'm so tired of fighting everything. Always trying to find anything to hang on to, feeling like it's a losing battle and one I no longer want to win. Denying everything hasn't kept despair away, it just has all finally come rushing in to drown me. Nowhere can I see a way, four walls surround me, out the windows are only clouds. Wanting to cry and not being able to, spiraling ever down- ward. Standing on the bottom looking up, it is too hard to climb, I just give up. (12: 02 p.m. - 3/13/89)