Justifying Insignificance

Living alone in a nightmare of life, being depressed beyond movement or motion, carelessly living on edges of mattresses, too forlorn to reach out of self and help those more unfortunate than me. Wanting to grasp something to give hope or feed me back my faith, instead just sitting within and feeling bluer than the sky. Justifying my insignificance with depressive thoughts and medicine to cover up reality with false promises. Bringing down other's moods with self-pity, trying to fool them with my excuses for why I am this way. In reality, I'm fooling no one - not even myself, if I'm being truthful and sincere to those who love me and want me to be a part of their lives while I'm here. Maybe in the future, my purpose will come to light - maybe it will be my turn to help others. Committing suicide I will only be shirking my duty and purpose given to me at birth. (11: 08 a.m. - 5/20/09)