Living Alone With Self

Today all is wonderful, life is good, peace abounds, except in the purest, deepest part of my heart. Within, a sadness that cannot be quenched, gnaws away at the being I am. Forgotten are the days when freedom was unknown, now I am grown and can do what I want with my life. However, the past has it's tentacles wrapped tightly around my inner mind. Tangled webs of reality have been spun into the very fibers of my soul since I was a little child and it's impossible to escape. At least that's what I've found to be true, people come and go in life as if through a revolving door. No one wanting to get to know another, the one beyond the tests, fears, insignificant dependencies that always crop up in the very beginnings of a relationship. Everyone always drops out at this point, afraid that they will cling too much, no one giving any chances, just dumping another at the first sign of commitment. Life will always be lived alone, because the final point has been reached in life, they cannot go any further, having been hurt too much by other people, this is the end. All doors to friendship have been closed, not able to handle the constant rejection anymore. Left alone to be themselves, surviving, albeit it will be a sterile environment, but that's much better than living through one emotional roller coaster ride after another.